Burning Matchsticks


I can still remember the Holy Retreat that we’ve had when I was a senior high school student. We’ve had this retreat master named Father Deo. He is a disciplinarian. He is strict and speaks direct to the point. Try to be a little pasaway and you’ll get what you want. You’ll hear words that you never expect to hear from a priest.


There was this activity when he asked us to pass the matchbox until it reaches the last person in the class. He instructed us to get one matchstick and burn it. And so we did. Father Deo’s eyes were keenly observing, checking if everyone was following instructions. He got mad at those who took more than a stick. He uttered spicy words to those who roamed around the session hall just to do their own businesses.
“Sino sa inyo ang gumamit ng dalawang kamay sa paghawak ng posporo?”
Nervousness came rushing throughout my body. He was pertaining to me… I knew. I realized that shifting hands to hold the matchsticks was none of his instructions. I did not want to simply sit there and do some patay-malisya as if I am innocent of that misdemeanor. Besides, I know for a fact that he was watching at us during that entire activity. I was afraid of a worse punishment if I lied.
And so, I spoke nervously in a low tone, “Ako po.” That was not the end of it. It seemed that he was testing me if I could stand for what I did. With the eyes of a lion, he asked me in a loud voice, “Bakit?” Then I uttered, “Ka…kasi po… para masunog ko po ang buong posporo.”
With a smile, he answered, “Very good!”
I felt a great relief from the tension that I was suffering from that situation. But still, I was wondering…
I went beyond his given rule. But what made him respond that well, as if he was very impressed with my reply?

I trust in the Lord for safety
How foolish of you to say to me,
“Fly away like a bird to the mountains,
because the wicked have drawn their bows and
aimed their arrows to shoot from shadows at
good people. There is nothing a good person
can do when everything falls apart.”
(I got that from the bible, but sorry, I am not much of a bible person. I was not able to jot down its exact source in the book.)
I can’t say anything much on being good and being bad. (I am not expert on that either.)

Maybe the keyword is CONFIDENCE. OK, this worn-out cliché again, “Life is a journey”. We are board to different destinations expecting new things to come. Within those things that we pack for the journey, there is an unnoticed stuff in the most unseen corner of the baggage that adds weight and makes it uneasy for us to get easily to the destination. This is the monstrous FEAR that cripples us all the way.
Is this me speaking? FEAR. Okay, I stand guilty for that again. This is the biggest word that answers the biggest questions in my life.
Again, CONFIDENCE. This is the best antidote for FEAR. In this life full of crossroads, this antidote can give us the guts to tread the “road less traveled” which could sometimes give the best route of all.
But confidence alone won’t bring us to our goal, such as burning the entire matchstick. We can’t just sit back and relax with that confidence tied on us while letting the flame devour our fingers.
Set a goal. Drop the fears. Stand for the chosen decision. Endure the pain that comes with it. Do something.
Again is this me speaking? Oh well, let me see!

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