On Looking Back, Turning Points and Burning Bridges

The year that has just ended has occupied a special space in my heart, not that it became very bright and colorful, there where blacks and grays as well to emphasize its beauty.  Another obra from the Master Painter above.

Let this not be a lengthy blog.  As much as the muse is miles away distant from me, I feel the need to applaud the year that has given me so far the most vivid explanation of life. A year of turning points.  A year when the bitter, sweet and bittersweet made a good combination. 

Here’s what went on.

ENTERED THE VIRTUAL TIANGGE.   Months before 2012 commenced, I tried my luck on putting up an online business.  Little by little it has somehow established a name.  There was not much profit as I expect it to have.  But the best thing I have here up to now is being able to experience mingling with varying kinds of people in front of their computer.  From the childish and unprofessional to the outstanding and professional.  Every single click has a lesson to teach. I was also able to discover great deals online and offline.

BOUGHT A SMALL UNIT FROM A SUBDIVISION. “Leap and the net will appear.”  That’s one of the biggest decisions I had to make in my entire life.  As I put it into words, it was an out-of-the-comfort zone decision.  Starting small for something precious I want to achieve.  I give credits to my parents as well, for pushing me to decide, especially to my mom who actually contributed some amount and pledged to support me as much as she could, so I could really make it. Few months from now,  I will be moving in! 

FINISHED PAYING FOR THAT HUMBLE VEHICLE.  The owner-type jeep has been with us through a lot of family bonding times and getaways.  This was not ours, until my aunt decided to sell it to us.  We've been paying for this in partial for months or years. Finally, I have completely paid for it-- with my father’s help, of course.  God-willing, I will exert more effort this year so I could buy a new car for the family soon.

DANCED IN A CLUB.  Errr.  Not a very Lou Natalie thing, but I did.  Reason number one:   It's the boss' order (haha!  not really!).  Reason number two:  I enjoyed the company of the team, anyway!  No regrets.  It was fun.

LOVED AND LOST.  You won’t see me write much about love.  People who knew me would say that I am a late bloomer in that aspect.  During my early twenties, I was acting like thirteen when teased and matched to somebody.  I had my first boyfriend at twenty five -- when folks of my age were starting to grow their own toddlers.  Oh well, that was a just a preview and not my story this year.  I met the ‘man’ who erased the bitter feelings of my first heartbreak (which happened three years ago?!).  To give him credits, he was able to develop that girl with lots of inhibitions to an expressive woman.  He made every morning wonderful with the sound of his voice on the phone.  I don't want to elaborate, but in general, he made me experience the feeling of being truly in love.  Notice that the verbs are in past tense, because that’s all it could be. For some reasons I’ll just keep to myself, I ended it.  The only thing I can say right now with conviction is that, he was not the right person and I was not in the right relationship.  It ended.  I was torn. I moved on and forgave.  We are friends. I am happy. In the midst of everything, I've learned a lot.

STEPPED IN TO THE WORLD’S LARGEST FLOATING BOOKSTORE.  I had the chance to be in MV Logos Hope, a ship that houses more than 5,000 books for sale (from different parts of the world).  There’s a coffee shop inside and some corners dedicated for teaching and learning.  For someone who loves books, the sea, coffee, learning, charity and diversity; it’s one perfect place to be called a HOME.  And it has now become one of my biggest dreams.  I will be building my own in the future.  Law of Attraction, please conspire with me!

HAD PHOTOSHOOT LIKE A STAR.  I am not used to flaunting or projecting myself in front of the camera.  But I did last year.  They say it’s one way to boost self-confidence.  It really did. I've proven it.  I think I’d be doing this more often.

ROCKED ALONG ON A CONCERT.  I used to hate crowds and noise.  I gave it a try this year.  Bamboo’s Concert had my YES! I didn’t regret it. I watched in awe as he sings. I finally understood the feeling of being star struck. I am a fan of this guy as a writer, and the music never failed to blend with his craft. Bonus was his face ladies won’t dare to just ignore.  Ha!

JUMPED IN TO A NEW VENTURE AND MET THE COOLEST BUSINESS PARTNERS.  There came end of August. Just right after the literal and figurative storms, I jumped into a new business, a new endeavor.  Priceless lessons, camaraderie, new friendships, a good team.  Here’s where people think alike and help each other reach one’s goal, no matter how long or short I’ve been acquainted with. I’ve introduced myself to a broader horizon -- a group of doctors, nurses, IT people, and other professionals.  And now, we are still together to achieve a common goal!

GAVE EXTREME ADVENTURES A TRY. We headed to our most awaited trip of the year, CDO-Iligan and Bukidnon.  One year of waiting was really worth it.  There’s nothing extraordinary with the places, but the adventures I had here stood out from the rest of the places I have been to.  I was able to surpass the challenges beyond what I thought I could do.  Life explained.

GRADUATED.  I have already graduated 7 years ago, but the fulfillment has just tripled as I finish sending my siblings to school.  My youngest sister has just graduated.  I am done!  Yes!

ANOTHER KID IN THE HOUSE.  Our new little man of the family just came.  I am a proud aunt once again.  With this comes another pressure from people around saying, “When’s your turn?” As always, I just smile and say,  “Chillax!”

Back then, I thought POSITIVITY was only a word.  I thought it was overstatement of things; that self-help books and writings are just for the desperate, or for some who just wanted to feign a happy life.  It was not.  I need not explain, it’s worth a try.

And now as I finish looking back to what turned me to a better person, I’m leaving all the baggages that slowed me down along the  journey.  I’m up for this new year!